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Household management

(14:55:57) fireman q: Might try and find some strawberries --
  no reason ;-)

(15:01:31) holly: ooohh
(15:04:21) holly: champayne hey.
(15:04:44) holly: champagne even

(15:04:47) fireman q: lol
(15:05:06) fireman q: that's a much better idea than mine =)
(15:05:23) fireman q: I will make the /necessary arrangements/

(15:08:57) holly: oh no, strawberry daiquiris - now i get it - 
  lets have that, im sure even sarah would try it.

(15:09:30) fireman q: she'd drink champagne wouldn't she?
(15:09:39) fireman q: it's a good aperitif

(15:11:04) holly: um i think she would prefer the daiquiri

(15:11:27) fireman q: I'll go with that then

(15:19:35) holly: do whatever you want sugar...
(15:20:25) holly: ill be happy with either :D

(15:27:37) fireman q: There's no champagne in the house,
  which is frankly an untenable position
(15:28:30) fireman q: Luckily for us, these options are not
  mutually exclusive
(15:28:57) ***fireman q imagines a splendidly coloured Venn diagram

Controversy!

Wow, what a storm of controversy ThisDeviceIsComical stirred up! Or rather, a flurry of fierce but good-natured scientific inquiry.

My father, with an alacrity born I'm sure of genuine curiosity, suggested some avenues of investigation:

I have no idea what the comical device is, but could you give some clues: where did you see it, is there any context, is it powered, any blades, wheels, rotary surfaces, little green men?

IanS had some concerns with the methodology, and a wild speculation to make:

Given its colour, shape and proximity to a similar device I would guess it's some kind of female "personal grooming" device. I am more concerned about the stainless steel ruler; A plastic one would be more appropriate in the bathroom environment.

It was on the tiles by the shower in the bathroom. At that size (see scale provided), it must be motorised, perhaps with a large sewing-machine motor or small two-stroke engine. There's what looks like a fuel tank up the top. The bottom edge has a blade assembly which, imagination willing, might be used to cut or scrape hair away from skin. But I'm speculating; it bears little resemblence to the apparatus next to it which I've some confidence is in fact a razor of sorts.

IanS's argument would be persuasive if it weren't for the appeal to verisimilitude — that thing is at least twice as big as the object next to it. They can't possibly have the same purpose.

However, it turns out he's on the money.

BiancaW called my bluff:

(11:03:29) B(*): i think that's only fascinating/confusing to the
 section of the population that doesn't see girls very often
 in a domestic situation
(11:06:38) B(*): the fuel tank is in case civilisation as we know
 it collapses while a girl is in the shower. it can then be used
 as
    shampoo
    industrial lubricant
    an alternative fuel
    emergency snack
(11:08:53) B(*): also note the shape of the item- good for:
    pretending you have a tazer
    grinding seeds and berries into paste for poison to make blow-darts
    pretending you have a very shapely mobile phone
    shaving your hairy bits
    a child's toy
(11:09:27) B(*): note: best for the last item if you have already
 removed the blade
(11:09:37) B(*): depending on how fond you are of the child