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What Michael Did

Monday was the anniversary of my birth. It is also nearing the anniversary of my last post to this site. What better way &c.

Now, the running order. First of all, breakfast: cereal with non-poison, and later a Red Bull to stave off a mild hangover and a newspaper (the newspaper is not for eating but it is consumed at breakfast). Chores.

Next, catch the bus to Finchley Road tube station, the tube to Paddington (one change), and buy a saver day return to Oxford. Look queasily in the direction of Delice de France.

Get ejected from the First Class carriage ("Would you like to upgrade to first class?" / "No thank you – do I have to move?" / "Yes"). Stroll into Oxvegas town from the train station and meet the very splendid Audrey, who brings a gift of champagne.

Walk through Jericho and across Port Meadow, and follow the Thames down to The Trout Inn. Make joke about spotting Inspector Morse to passing tumbleweed. Drinks: Edelwiess and Staropramen, rinse and repeat. Order, eventually, delicious lunch.

Take a shortcut back across Port Meadow, forsaking the path for a more direct line. Have muddy epiphany about the reason for paths.

Arrange sodden shoes and socks on grass and watch the sun set, swigging from the champagne.